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Anxiety and Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is a common sexual problem. While premature ejaculation has no official definition, many describe it as ejaculation that occurs before the individual wishes to ejaculate, in a way that causes shame, self-doubt, stress, or other negative emotions between either the male or their sexual partner.
There is a strong relationship between anxiety and premature ejaculation. As such, controlling your anxiety may be a worthwhile treatment for controlling premature ejaculation.
How Anxiety Causes Premature Ejaculation (PE)
Anxiety is still one of the most common causes of PE. Men that have anxiety about their sexual performance tend to dwell on their ability to control their release as soon as they penetrate their partner, and the fear of releasing early both reduces their ability to enjoy the intercourse and causes them to struggle to hold back completion.
Performance anxiety can also interfere with the quality of the sexual intercourse, where nervousness causes the individual to move too fast or too slow, rather than control their ejaculation. It may also cause them to fear telling their partner to stop if they're feeling over-stimulated, so that their partner's actions cause them to ejaculate early, causing additional emotional difficulties.
How PE Causes Anxiety
Similarly, PE tends to cause more anxiety. Recall that focusing on the sensations rather than enjoying the intercourse can cause PE. After someone ejaculates early, they may worry that it will happen again, and that causes even more of a focus on their ability to control their completion and a cycle of further anxiety.
Similarly, many men equate their sexual performance with self-worth. Men that suffer from PE may become more likely to experience anxiety with the opposite sex, regardless of sexual situations, and this anxiety can spin off to other aspects of their lives.
Controlling Anxiety During Intercourse
In order to overcome PE, the individual will need to both control anxiety during intercourse and learn to regain the ability to enjoy intercourse rather than think about their performance. There are several strategies that individuals with PE can implement in order to regain their sexual confidence. These include:
- Talking With Your Partner – One of the biggest issues with PE is anxiety over how the partner will react to their sexual problems. So men try not to talk about their PE problems with their partner, only to fear they won't be able to satisfy their partner, and ultimately increase their likelihood of PE. Talking with your partner before intercourse can be an incredible help, taking much of the stress off of the person's shoulders.
- Practicing Control – When your partner is accepting of your PE, you can then practice control. You can do this by using the stop and start method. After penetration, you can thrust until you feel over-excited, and then stop. Continue this behavior over and over until you learn to get used to the sensations without ejaculating. This is a type of behavioral training that teaches your body not to rush to completion.
- Repeating Intercourse – Often if the individual can regain their sexual confidence they'll be less likely to suffer from PE. One way to do this is to have intercourse two or three times in a row. After the first episode of PE, the individual will generally experience fewer sensations in their genitals, giving them more control by default. This gives them a longer opportunity to satisfy their partner, and when their partners are satisfied, the individual will be less anxious during their next sexual encounter.
Anxiety help in every aspect of their life should also be a priority, and both the PE sufferer and their partner need to be patient – those with PE will experience anxiety for a while, but with each successful attempt at controlling PE, the likelihood of experiencing anxiety and PE again decreases.